Docmarvy News Week in Review

There were plenty of big stories that went down this week. But if you want that you'll go to CNN, or if you're retarded you'll go to Fox News. Here's the stuff that stuck out to me:

Blogger and skeptic Connie Schmidt
pulled back the curtain on The Secret, and subsequently got yelled at by a bunch of idiots who think that if they wish for things then magic will happen and they'll have those things. Were this true I'd be attaching a picture of my 12" thunderpenis. Note I have not attached said picture.

At the gym this week I caught a few minutes of
S.O.B. (Socially Offensive Behavior), which is a show hosted by the marginally amusing D.L. Hughley that shows that white people are racist. No shit. The part I saw was hidden cameras at a job interview where people were confronted by a white-power racist asshole interviewer. Of course, most of the people went along with it and then were forced to explain themselves. Perhaps, S.O.B. producers, people are so desperate for a job that they'd be willing to put up with anything to get out of a bad situation. If any of them were trying to get out of a job with a former "voice of the Huskers" they'd probably be willing to put up with anything.

The N.S.A. would like you to know that if you
dare question them, more innocent Americans will die. By principle alone, anyway. Ironically, if they relinquish their right to question it, they're not technically "Americans" anymore. Go fig.

N.B.C. is bringing back
American Gladiators. Finally! I'll be able to amp up the ebay value of my autographed AG poster (no shit, pic forthcoming).

President Junior Doofus pissed off a bunch of people in
Kansas City. Not for being a shitty president, they're over that already. Now they're pissed that he personally towed all their cars.

Gays love
drugs. Way to reinforce a negative stereotype fellas!

Steve Jobs, the turtlenecked titan of industry, is being
inducted into the California Museum for History, Women and the Arts along with a woman from the Electric Company, a serial monogamist/former actress and a guy who took pictures of trees. Finally, someone is recognizing Steve for the good things he's done.

I'm not fat, I have a
virus. Whew.

The act went "
horribly awry"? No shit! I would say that's an understatement.

Plastic "Designer Impostor" Dick Clark,
Ryan Seacrest will be hosting the Emmys. I can't believe I rode past E! Networks building in Dave White's Mazda wonderwagon and we didn't lie in wait to run him down to save the future. But the LaBrea Tar Pits weren't going to look at themselves.

IMG_0352
LaBrea Tar Pits: Where nobody's dreams come true.


That's what was up this week, kids. Oh, and they're tearing up the Ranch Bowl to build a Wal Mart, but you can read about that in the previous post. Take 'er easy. Huzzah.

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