Out of Print: After Dark pt.1
Perusing the skanky old publications dotting the
charmingly retro coffee tables in the vintage shops
in the North Loop area of Austin, I happened upon a
stack of After Dark magazines in alarmingly good
shape. Apart from some page yellowing they were in
pristine condition. I wasn't familiar with After
Dark, save for the Berkeley screen saver software of
the Macs of my youth. This After Dark, no relation,
appeared at first blush to be a standard New Yorkey
playbill-esque pub, filled with bio pieces on
Broadway performers you've never heard of and ads for
New York nightlife. Save for a couple differences:
The ads were targeted exclusively to men (men's wear,
men's health, a plethora of porn-stache) and all of
the content was driven almost exclusively by campy
chanteuses recalling their wild times trotting the
boards (seriously, there was a three-page spread on
Hermione Gingold, who you may remember as Eulalie
Mackechnie Shinn from The Music Man), tasteful
semi-nudes of scrawny 70's guys, and some photo
essays of rough trade. Despite the fact that I'm
not 11 years old, I actually thought to myself
"O-M-G, I've stumbled upon a veritable treasure
trove of classic gay mag-tacularity!"
And so I had. I hastily purchased three of them, at a seemingly steep $7 each, and set home to warm up my scanner.
I'll be doling this out in pieces so as to not spoil all the fun at once. Here are selections from After Dark May 1975. A seven month old me was at home, presumably in my crib, while all these wild goings on were... uh, going on. I give you, the cover:
Nobody wants to be the rude one who says, "Um dude, your balls are showing." On the cover of a national publication no less. I'm not sure who the cover character is, but I flipped through enough of the article to know that he was in a production of some high-minded Greek tragedy off-Broadway production where presumably most of the cast wandered around with their balls showing. Even the ladies.
The mag didn't have the cash to go color throughout, so it's a mostly b&w affair. But that detracts in no way whatsoever from the awesomeness of it. If anything it adds.
And speaking of ads, are you looking for the right swimwear to wrap around your "bobby-dazzler"?
Well you're in luck:
Already with the pornstache staring at you. This is magnificent: You have all three types of 70's guy on here. There's the pre-muscle beach boy, the scrawn-fit fella (with and without chest pelt) and then hair helmet McMacho. How important is his hair? Um, it's a 1/3 page ad for conditioner, for crissakes. A lot! He cares about his hair a lot, okay? Don't judge.
This man owned a mustache comb, I guarantee it.
And if you didn't have your own hair:
Okay, lots happening here, so let's dig in. The "Headhugger" should not be confused with the "facehugger," which are the small aliens from Alien that latch onto your face and plant alien eggs in your guts. Although I think that option was available with these toupees. Also it shouldn't be confused with "treehugger," which is a pachouli scented hippie that latches onto your face and plants hair-brained schemes into your mind.
Are you a fan of cinema? Well you're in luck, because The Adonis is the Premiere Showplace of the Nation. How do I know their movies are good? Well, their logo has a boner, that's your first clue.
Gay porn titles have never been subtle, but at least back in the day they were whimsical. Spread Eagles? Wasn't that with Louis Gossett Jr.? (no.) Boys of the Slums, wasn't that Spike Lee? (no.) And what pray tell goes on in their exotic Grecian Lounge? If I have to tell you then you won't understand anyway.
Time for more pornstache!
Wow? Yanni? The guy who sings about Baby Beluga, the caviar all the kids love? (no.) This is another Greek thing. Yianni is, no kidding, the Greek version of the name John. Still, you kinda wonder what's going on under his hat, don't you? Pervert!
Hungry?
When in New York be sure to enjoy the tableside antics of the chefs at Banihana. They would love to make the same ancient jokes you just heard at the other table a minute ago. And when in Denver, be sure to be menaced by a dark eyed stranger with a super pornstache at The Broadway.
So remember, the Benihana in New York, The Broadway... in Denver. What the hell?
What's happening at Gypsy's?
Um, I don't know. Apparently NY mayor Mike Bloomberg in a a Pee Wee Herman haircut will try to tango with you. Gah!
But what's New York without taking in a musical?
Nice. Classy. In the words of its creator, Earl Wilson Jr.: "it is a musical revue about SEX... with some nudity and a lot of X-rated language. It was nominated for a Grammy in 1974 and has appeared all over the world. It is a really fun show that takes the attitude that everyone loves sex... when they are honest enough to admit it... and that we'd probably all be a lot better off if we were less uptight about it".
I sort of agree, I guess. But still, it's a little tacky.
Think it's just modern douchebag fratboys with puka shell necklaces? Don't be fooled.
On the same note, do you think Dov Charney's American Apparel is blazing any trails with its pervy gold lamé outerwear? I'm afraid not. The His Midas from Ah Men shows that with a chest pelt and stuffing your junk in a gold bag, confused heroin-chic ladies will lean on you for support.
Nothing new under the sun, I guess.
I scanned these pages a while ago and don't remember what I was going to say about all of them. But I would hasten a guess that it's about The Kokpit, which is by all accounts, THEE FUN BAR. Got that, Sweet Lips?
Ay ay ay.
Or would you prefer a bar that's named something even more "on the nose"?
Yep. The Poop Deck.
And what do you do with the Poop Deck? You rinse it off, spray some Lysol in the room, maybe light a candle, and keep going.
Oh, Fashion Section! I hope there's a naked guy in a Horatio Hornblower hat!
With cowboy boots to match. What I really admire about this guy is how he kept it classy and kept the legs together. Because once those things open up, "flop" on the ground. Then the magazine gets a brown wrapper, dig?
Everything that is good and bad about Godspell in one picture:
This photo wants so badly to be sexy, but it cannot be. It just cannot be. (BTW, it's not actually from Godspell. But you drama class nerds already new that.)
The Black Crowes called, they want their fancy tour outfit back:
Kind of a fantastic suit, actually. I wouldn't recommend wearing it to a funeral.
Well, maybe a clown funeral.
Ready for that giant Disco Sound?
Both of these ads are fantastic. I want to go back in time just so I can find out what the hell "The New! Sound Sound Machine" is. Is that the name of the bar? Or is the bar Giant Disco Sound? What's happening? Why is this ad yelling at me?!?
And then "How's this body for openers?" Um, the body is okay. The face, however, is a young Jay North from Dennis the Menace meets a scary albino. It's called cropping, people. And it was done, even back in the 70's.
There's a lot going on here, but it's all so worth it:
I won't even comment. Just enjoy it all for yourself. "For Sensualists" "The Ultimate Man and Woman" "Jungle Fever"
It's all so good.
And Beach Boy of New York is the only guy with some meat on him in the whole magazine. A sign of things to come (no pun necessary).
Oh Boy! Turquoise Jewelry!
Sexy? Scary? Both?
This was a 2-page ad pushing the very popular silver and turquoise look of the mid-70's.
And it somehow morphed into a punchline for an SNL sketch:
That's it for issue one. I'm considering
re-selling these elsewhere on docmarvy.com just for
the novelty of it, and to recoup my losses. Good
idea? No?
Eh.
Stay tuned for issue two of more old school, porn-stachity fun from After Dark, coming soon!
Leave some love and ruminations in the comments!
Huzzah!
And so I had. I hastily purchased three of them, at a seemingly steep $7 each, and set home to warm up my scanner.
I'll be doling this out in pieces so as to not spoil all the fun at once. Here are selections from After Dark May 1975. A seven month old me was at home, presumably in my crib, while all these wild goings on were... uh, going on. I give you, the cover:
Nobody wants to be the rude one who says, "Um dude, your balls are showing." On the cover of a national publication no less. I'm not sure who the cover character is, but I flipped through enough of the article to know that he was in a production of some high-minded Greek tragedy off-Broadway production where presumably most of the cast wandered around with their balls showing. Even the ladies.
The mag didn't have the cash to go color throughout, so it's a mostly b&w affair. But that detracts in no way whatsoever from the awesomeness of it. If anything it adds.
And speaking of ads, are you looking for the right swimwear to wrap around your "bobby-dazzler"?
Well you're in luck:
Already with the pornstache staring at you. This is magnificent: You have all three types of 70's guy on here. There's the pre-muscle beach boy, the scrawn-fit fella (with and without chest pelt) and then hair helmet McMacho. How important is his hair? Um, it's a 1/3 page ad for conditioner, for crissakes. A lot! He cares about his hair a lot, okay? Don't judge.
This man owned a mustache comb, I guarantee it.
And if you didn't have your own hair:
Okay, lots happening here, so let's dig in. The "Headhugger" should not be confused with the "facehugger," which are the small aliens from Alien that latch onto your face and plant alien eggs in your guts. Although I think that option was available with these toupees. Also it shouldn't be confused with "treehugger," which is a pachouli scented hippie that latches onto your face and plants hair-brained schemes into your mind.
Are you a fan of cinema? Well you're in luck, because The Adonis is the Premiere Showplace of the Nation. How do I know their movies are good? Well, their logo has a boner, that's your first clue.
Gay porn titles have never been subtle, but at least back in the day they were whimsical. Spread Eagles? Wasn't that with Louis Gossett Jr.? (no.) Boys of the Slums, wasn't that Spike Lee? (no.) And what pray tell goes on in their exotic Grecian Lounge? If I have to tell you then you won't understand anyway.
Time for more pornstache!
Wow? Yanni? The guy who sings about Baby Beluga, the caviar all the kids love? (no.) This is another Greek thing. Yianni is, no kidding, the Greek version of the name John. Still, you kinda wonder what's going on under his hat, don't you? Pervert!
Hungry?
When in New York be sure to enjoy the tableside antics of the chefs at Banihana. They would love to make the same ancient jokes you just heard at the other table a minute ago. And when in Denver, be sure to be menaced by a dark eyed stranger with a super pornstache at The Broadway.
So remember, the Benihana in New York, The Broadway... in Denver. What the hell?
What's happening at Gypsy's?
Um, I don't know. Apparently NY mayor Mike Bloomberg in a a Pee Wee Herman haircut will try to tango with you. Gah!
But what's New York without taking in a musical?
Nice. Classy. In the words of its creator, Earl Wilson Jr.: "it is a musical revue about SEX... with some nudity and a lot of X-rated language. It was nominated for a Grammy in 1974 and has appeared all over the world. It is a really fun show that takes the attitude that everyone loves sex... when they are honest enough to admit it... and that we'd probably all be a lot better off if we were less uptight about it".
I sort of agree, I guess. But still, it's a little tacky.
Think it's just modern douchebag fratboys with puka shell necklaces? Don't be fooled.
On the same note, do you think Dov Charney's American Apparel is blazing any trails with its pervy gold lamé outerwear? I'm afraid not. The His Midas from Ah Men shows that with a chest pelt and stuffing your junk in a gold bag, confused heroin-chic ladies will lean on you for support.
Nothing new under the sun, I guess.
I scanned these pages a while ago and don't remember what I was going to say about all of them. But I would hasten a guess that it's about The Kokpit, which is by all accounts, THEE FUN BAR. Got that, Sweet Lips?
Ay ay ay.
Or would you prefer a bar that's named something even more "on the nose"?
Yep. The Poop Deck.
And what do you do with the Poop Deck? You rinse it off, spray some Lysol in the room, maybe light a candle, and keep going.
Oh, Fashion Section! I hope there's a naked guy in a Horatio Hornblower hat!
With cowboy boots to match. What I really admire about this guy is how he kept it classy and kept the legs together. Because once those things open up, "flop" on the ground. Then the magazine gets a brown wrapper, dig?
Everything that is good and bad about Godspell in one picture:
This photo wants so badly to be sexy, but it cannot be. It just cannot be. (BTW, it's not actually from Godspell. But you drama class nerds already new that.)
The Black Crowes called, they want their fancy tour outfit back:
Kind of a fantastic suit, actually. I wouldn't recommend wearing it to a funeral.
Well, maybe a clown funeral.
Ready for that giant Disco Sound?
Both of these ads are fantastic. I want to go back in time just so I can find out what the hell "The New! Sound Sound Machine" is. Is that the name of the bar? Or is the bar Giant Disco Sound? What's happening? Why is this ad yelling at me?!?
And then "How's this body for openers?" Um, the body is okay. The face, however, is a young Jay North from Dennis the Menace meets a scary albino. It's called cropping, people. And it was done, even back in the 70's.
There's a lot going on here, but it's all so worth it:
I won't even comment. Just enjoy it all for yourself. "For Sensualists" "The Ultimate Man and Woman" "Jungle Fever"
It's all so good.
And Beach Boy of New York is the only guy with some meat on him in the whole magazine. A sign of things to come (no pun necessary).
Oh Boy! Turquoise Jewelry!
Sexy? Scary? Both?
This was a 2-page ad pushing the very popular silver and turquoise look of the mid-70's.
And it somehow morphed into a punchline for an SNL sketch:
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|
Eh.
Stay tuned for issue two of more old school, porn-stachity fun from After Dark, coming soon!
Leave some love and ruminations in the comments!
Huzzah!
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