More 70's Food - Fritos!
I promise not to become just a "scanner of
cookbooks," but this was right under the New Joys of
Jell-O and I wanted to get in another quick blog
entry before the weekend. And it's so tiny, it's more
like a little supplemental post. Just a bump to calm
you down, get you through a friday. I know, I know,
baby. You just need your fix. Well here it is.
It's the creative cookbook-let from Fritos. And they're not kidding. It's a little 12-page supplement that I can only imagine a relative of mine (perhaps a certain Frito-loving Southern grandmother) sending in 10 Frito wrappers for this "free" informative cookbooklet. Made in 1979, one can only imagine what horrors await inside.
Well, you can only imagine, I've been drooling over the photos of sodium-saturated treats for a while now.
You open it up to get the backstory of Fritos. I'll sum up: In 1932 a venture capitalist named Elmer Doolin saw these handmade chips at a San Antonio cafe. They were so damned tasty he decided to license them and call them Fritos, presumably using the same logic that Taco Bell uses for naming their products: because it sounds sort of Mexican-ey. Since it was 1979 when this book was printed, and America was becoming somewhat racially sensitive, there's no mention in this history of the Frito Bandito, who was originally a caricature/racial stereotype of a Frito-robbing, well... bandito. This was offensive on many different levels, not the least of which that a bandito would dedicate so much of his precious robbing energy on fattening corn chips. Perhaps it's better not to dwell and just to look at the artery clogging delights within.
Here's a tasty appetizer for you. The Corny Scotched Egg. Equal parts Hard Boiled Eggs, Pork Sausage and Fritos. Seriously. Why have dippin' mustard? Why not just some sea salt to roll it around in? If you're going to make your heart explode, why not go all the way and see if you can get it to burst directly out of your chest.
And now you know what fat kids in the southwest want in their Easter Basket. Just these and a script for Lipitor.
So you're probably saying to yourself, "wasn't that the name of a David Bowie album?" Close! That was Diamond Dogs, and that was during his Glam phase. But I can see how you drew that conclusion.
Glamour dogs. Yike. Here's the instant imagery I got from the name: The floor of Studio 54 is covered in squeaky toys. Look over there, it's Andy Warhol as a Poodle talking to Halston as a Weimeraner and Liza Minelli as a long-haired Teacup Dachshund. All these little pups running around with white powder rimming their big, wet, cold noses. It's Glamour!
The last thing that comes to mind when I pair the concepts of "glamour" and "dogs" is a fucking hot dog stuffed with crushed Fritos. Seriously. The. Last. Thing.
That said, I'm sure they're crunch-a-licious.
Fun Fact: My nickname in college was "Beef Party Dish"
(Okay, here's the deal. Some days I go for the highbrow jokes, some days it's the low hanging fruit, and then there are days when I just rely on the old standbys. "that was my nickname in college" attached to a vague double-entendre is an old standby. Give me a break. Some days you get the pearls, and some days you get the swine. And then some days the swine is breaded in Fritos.)
docmarvy.com Blog Fun-tivity Challenge: In 25 words or less, leave in the comments what makes your corn wiggle.
Ironically, Fritos make my corn wiggle. That's why I try not to eat them now.
Also, those chicken croquettes look like something so obscene I'm too reserved to write it here. But just think of the Thing from the Fantastic 4 getting too excited and you'll figure it out. Gah!
And... I apologize.
We finish off the cookbooklet with Beefy Cornbread. I'm no nutritionist, but if you meet one, they will tell you that cornbread is one of the worst "breads" you can eat. Full of fat, refined white sugar, and a plethora of other empty carbs. So how to make it better? Add 3% lean Ground "Beef", Fritos and Whole Milk. Now you've got something to enjoy with those Glamour Dogs while you're waiting for the ambulance.
What's that you say? Your arm hurts? You smell burning toast?
Interesting.
Here, have some more Fritos and try to calm down.
That's all for today, kids.
Huzzah!
It's the creative cookbook-let from Fritos. And they're not kidding. It's a little 12-page supplement that I can only imagine a relative of mine (perhaps a certain Frito-loving Southern grandmother) sending in 10 Frito wrappers for this "free" informative cookbooklet. Made in 1979, one can only imagine what horrors await inside.
Well, you can only imagine, I've been drooling over the photos of sodium-saturated treats for a while now.
You open it up to get the backstory of Fritos. I'll sum up: In 1932 a venture capitalist named Elmer Doolin saw these handmade chips at a San Antonio cafe. They were so damned tasty he decided to license them and call them Fritos, presumably using the same logic that Taco Bell uses for naming their products: because it sounds sort of Mexican-ey. Since it was 1979 when this book was printed, and America was becoming somewhat racially sensitive, there's no mention in this history of the Frito Bandito, who was originally a caricature/racial stereotype of a Frito-robbing, well... bandito. This was offensive on many different levels, not the least of which that a bandito would dedicate so much of his precious robbing energy on fattening corn chips. Perhaps it's better not to dwell and just to look at the artery clogging delights within.
Here's a tasty appetizer for you. The Corny Scotched Egg. Equal parts Hard Boiled Eggs, Pork Sausage and Fritos. Seriously. Why have dippin' mustard? Why not just some sea salt to roll it around in? If you're going to make your heart explode, why not go all the way and see if you can get it to burst directly out of your chest.
And now you know what fat kids in the southwest want in their Easter Basket. Just these and a script for Lipitor.
So you're probably saying to yourself, "wasn't that the name of a David Bowie album?" Close! That was Diamond Dogs, and that was during his Glam phase. But I can see how you drew that conclusion.
Glamour dogs. Yike. Here's the instant imagery I got from the name: The floor of Studio 54 is covered in squeaky toys. Look over there, it's Andy Warhol as a Poodle talking to Halston as a Weimeraner and Liza Minelli as a long-haired Teacup Dachshund. All these little pups running around with white powder rimming their big, wet, cold noses. It's Glamour!
The last thing that comes to mind when I pair the concepts of "glamour" and "dogs" is a fucking hot dog stuffed with crushed Fritos. Seriously. The. Last. Thing.
That said, I'm sure they're crunch-a-licious.
Fun Fact: My nickname in college was "Beef Party Dish"
(Okay, here's the deal. Some days I go for the highbrow jokes, some days it's the low hanging fruit, and then there are days when I just rely on the old standbys. "that was my nickname in college" attached to a vague double-entendre is an old standby. Give me a break. Some days you get the pearls, and some days you get the swine. And then some days the swine is breaded in Fritos.)
docmarvy.com Blog Fun-tivity Challenge: In 25 words or less, leave in the comments what makes your corn wiggle.
Ironically, Fritos make my corn wiggle. That's why I try not to eat them now.
Also, those chicken croquettes look like something so obscene I'm too reserved to write it here. But just think of the Thing from the Fantastic 4 getting too excited and you'll figure it out. Gah!
And... I apologize.
We finish off the cookbooklet with Beefy Cornbread. I'm no nutritionist, but if you meet one, they will tell you that cornbread is one of the worst "breads" you can eat. Full of fat, refined white sugar, and a plethora of other empty carbs. So how to make it better? Add 3% lean Ground "Beef", Fritos and Whole Milk. Now you've got something to enjoy with those Glamour Dogs while you're waiting for the ambulance.
What's that you say? Your arm hurts? You smell burning toast?
Interesting.
Here, have some more Fritos and try to calm down.
That's all for today, kids.
Huzzah!
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