Hey Kids,

Since I'm down here in Jesus-ey McBible-land among all the Baptist snake handlers and pious/righteous 700 lb. Wal Mart shoppers, I was snagged by this story. And it's been a while since I've done a Holy Shit feature (see all previous ones on the Weisenheimers Blogaverse). So here's the latest installment.

Think it's hard to find a Wii this Xmas? Yeah, well join the club, crybaby. Think about how much more profoundly depressing it would be if you were the parent who was going to disappoint your young'un when you're unable to get them the talking Jesus action figure. No. I'm not kidding. FULL STORY HERE.

What? You never write. You never call.

Naturally, they have sold out of these at Wal Mart. Who is surprised by this? I know that I'm going to end up at the Sevierville Super Wal Mart at some point during this trip, so I'll try to take some clandestine pics of locals in their FPCs.

Frankly, if I'm going to get a Jesus themed toy, I'd really prefer the Jackhammer Jesus (very NSFW).

But hey, that's just me.

Huzzah.

(Thanks to Consumerist, Dallas Morning News, and pervert sex toy designers everywhere)

UPDATE: As usual, I've been upstaged by a much more proficient, thorough blogger and his much more read (likely because it's better written) blog. Jockohomo not only gives you talking Jesus doll news, but a whole slew of other modern religious artifacts including anti-masturbation creme. He also mercifully spared you the link to the Jackhammer Jesus. Hats off to you, Jocko.