Hey Friends, Loved Ones & Wierdos stalking me on the internet,

Sorry I've been out of commission all week. I have good reason to be. Allow me to run down the craziness:

1) Big Work Event. I'm going to be in Atlanta the better part of the first week of October at a work conference. Before you think it's some sort of party-filled event you must know that my department has had to handle ALL the marketing for the event, which consists of the usual "people making absurd requests at the last minute." We usually acquiesce and fulfill their absurd requests because we are professionals. But all this rigamarole has already made us grumpy/punch drunk. Then I have the unique distinction of being the member of the department that goes to shmooze with the peeps. That's shmoozing from sun up until the cows come home. There will be no partying in the A-T-L for me, I'm afraid. In fact, it's unlikely that I'll be able to escape the hotel. There's much much more to this story, but I don't want to get fired... so just ask me sometime and I'll whisper the deets to you.

Despite what you see here, they're actually quite capable. You just have to not be stupid.

2) It's a Jeep thing, I don't understand. When is an all-inclusive warranty not all inclusive? When it pertains to me, it would seem. The electric fan on my radiator fried, causing the Jeep to overheat at stops. No problem! It came with an extended warranty! Whew. ...oh, wait. Apparently said warranty doesn't cover this specific part or the labor. Congratulations to me! Now I have to poop out $500 because I'm not mechanically adept enough to replace this $30 part myself. Which leads to...

3) Something I truly hate to do. I'm going to have to flake on an out of town gig. The week after I get back from Atlanta, my internationally renown comedy troupe, The Weisenheimers, are scheduled to play a gig at the Denver International Improv Festival. But now I can't afford the plane ticket that was going to take me there, and I'm not really hot on the idea of spending any more time on the road. I haven't told Monty yet... but I'm guessing he'll be ripshit over it. I can't blame him. We'll weather it. What are they going to do, find another guitarist? (I hope not)

4) This conversation pretty much sums it up. Chris: Mom's Halloween party will be on the 28th this year. Me: Oh, right after my mom's birthday. Shit, I have to get her something nice this year since she's losing her mind being trapped in Tennessee. Gah... I can't believe it's Halloween already. Chris: I know. And you know what that means. Me: Please don't say it. I know. Once you see the Halloween candy, it's a fucking hop, skip and a jump to Christmas. Ugh. Time goes so much faster than it used to.

On top of this I'm trying to remain faithful to the gym. Thank you to everyone who has said something encouraging about me looking like less of a lardass recently. I really do appreciate it. And, although I haven't heard anything else about it, apparently I'll be playing guitar in the McCune Family Band for some rockin' private XMAS shows. This is funny for many reasons, not the least of which are I'm not a McCune and as a lead guitarist I'm marginal at best.

...and my parents are still planning on moving back, although we have no idea when.

...and I'm selling stuff on Craigslist, which is only posing a problem in that I'm getting calls from some strange people who are less interested in what I'm selling than in just talking to me for a while on the phone because they're lonely.

...and when I do manage to eek out a free minute of the day I tend to waste it on web surfing and onanism rather than getting shit done, like updating my blog.

So that's what's been up. If I can spare the scannin' time this weekend I should have another hilarious retro post for y'all. Going back to '82, yo.

In the meantime, hugs and kisses (with tongue if you prefer),
Huzzah