Tom Petty was right when he said that the waiting is the hardest part. But he was also right when he said that he wont back down, he's gonna stand his ground. So I guess what I'm saying is Tom Petty wrote a bunch of songs. However most of them don't have anything to do with my situation right now except for the Waiting.

It's 8:00a.m. Tennessee time and I'm sitting in the waiting room with my mother. Apparently they don't have outpatient surgery as we know it in the civilized world, but rather a system they call "Day Surgery." So my dad is in day surgery where he was escorted by a male nurse who was tiny, hairy and gay, like a wishnik troll.

The expertly appointed day surgery wheelchairs, soon to be available in NASCAR themes

Since my flight was delayed getting in because of a bunch of adopted Guatemalan babies I didn't get to bed until a little after midnight local time. That normally wouldn't be a problem except my dad had to check in at the hospital at 6:00a.m. And it takes 90 minutes to get from the house to the hospital, so you do the math. A day on airplanes, 3 hours of fitful sleep, a two-minute cold shower and now I'm surrounded by a bunch of other day surgery hangers-on. The difference between me and them is that I took the time to shower.

This yokel was part of some human interest story on the local morning newscast.
Thankfully I couldn't understand a fucking word he said.

The only things that have made it worthwhile for me so far would be the check in nurse, a dwarf with thick southern drawl who appeared to me like a character from a play written by David Lynch and Tennessee Williams, and the douchenozzle sitting across from me who opened up his ThinkPad and looked at my MacBook Pro and visibly scoffed. Go ahead and give me guff, StinkPad user, I know that you're just jealous.

Now I'm watching Gene Shalit and Sesame Street's Elmo interact on the Today show. This is why I'm watching less and less TV. Somebody please come knock me unconscious.

With luck I'll find a wifi hot spot soon so I can upload these posts. Amazingly they don't have it here in the waiting room.

Huzzah, kids.