The Internet is Stupid
I keep a little folder on my desktop that says
"Urgent Projects" and the icon is the Incredible
Hulk. (The old Lou Ferrigno one, not the new
computerey one.) In that folder is another folder
marked "Blog" and it's where I keep links and
downloads too stupid to put on my del.icio.us
account. Time to empty out the folder.
First of all was a link I found to gay-specific horoscopes. Nice. Adding an extra layer of bullshit to horoscopes by making them niche. It's basically like pet horoscopes, but more fashionable.
Then there's this horrific banner I found for sugardaddie.com:
Dating for the rich and gorgeous? The space mutant on the right masquerading as a woman better be rich, because if that's gorgeous then I no-wanna. Also, are we supposed to believe that the two photos were taken at the same time with the same camera on the same planet? That's not what happened, I assure you.
And the freak show continues:
I get that you're trying to get my attention. But this guitar-playing demon/SPORE creature, whose magical guitar spouts APR's in a disturbingly fast and poorly looped animated gif is just going to pop out of my nightmare closet at night. It's like someone crossed Dick Van Dyke in his Mary Poppins one-man-band outfit with Jon Lovitz and a booger, then poorly CG rendered it. Bleh.
Let's get political, shall we?
Methinks the FB members doth protest too much. I wasn't so much bothered by the people here who didn't ever want to have to see a gay ad ever, presumably because it provides too much temptation and they'll have to head back to the truck stop bathroom again. I was bothered, however, by the image of Jesus used to shame Facebook into caving to their demands.
Seriously if you don't want to see boobs and wieners, don't even get near the internet. The internet, as allegedly corrupt and unquestionably elderly Alaska Senator Ted Stevens will happily tell you, is a series of boobs. Something like that. And where there are boobs, there are wieners. And where there are wieners there are fans of wieners who need to know about the latest hot wiener-celebratory site. And sometimes those ads might creep onto the pages of g_d-fearing Christians who, when not petting lambs, are wolfing down Big Macs in their Excursions. Revving them up by pumping their Croc-laden-feet because the A/C isn't cooling them down enough. And when you have that much circumference your core temperature is going to be pretty high, like the molten core of Earth.
The good news is when that group reaches 144,000 members they will ascend to heaven leaving the rest of us to watch gay facebook ads as the antichrist unleashes locusts, brimstone, and a bunch of other shit from the horror section in the back of the bible.
That's all for today. Just wanted to pop something in before the end of the week.
Also, there's new Zen (click off the left). Nothing new and nothing special. But a mental pallet cleanser.
Leave some love in the comments.
Huzzah.
First of all was a link I found to gay-specific horoscopes. Nice. Adding an extra layer of bullshit to horoscopes by making them niche. It's basically like pet horoscopes, but more fashionable.
Then there's this horrific banner I found for sugardaddie.com:
Dating for the rich and gorgeous? The space mutant on the right masquerading as a woman better be rich, because if that's gorgeous then I no-wanna. Also, are we supposed to believe that the two photos were taken at the same time with the same camera on the same planet? That's not what happened, I assure you.
And the freak show continues:
I get that you're trying to get my attention. But this guitar-playing demon/SPORE creature, whose magical guitar spouts APR's in a disturbingly fast and poorly looped animated gif is just going to pop out of my nightmare closet at night. It's like someone crossed Dick Van Dyke in his Mary Poppins one-man-band outfit with Jon Lovitz and a booger, then poorly CG rendered it. Bleh.
Let's get political, shall we?
Methinks the FB members doth protest too much. I wasn't so much bothered by the people here who didn't ever want to have to see a gay ad ever, presumably because it provides too much temptation and they'll have to head back to the truck stop bathroom again. I was bothered, however, by the image of Jesus used to shame Facebook into caving to their demands.
Seriously if you don't want to see boobs and wieners, don't even get near the internet. The internet, as allegedly corrupt and unquestionably elderly Alaska Senator Ted Stevens will happily tell you, is a series of boobs. Something like that. And where there are boobs, there are wieners. And where there are wieners there are fans of wieners who need to know about the latest hot wiener-celebratory site. And sometimes those ads might creep onto the pages of g_d-fearing Christians who, when not petting lambs, are wolfing down Big Macs in their Excursions. Revving them up by pumping their Croc-laden-feet because the A/C isn't cooling them down enough. And when you have that much circumference your core temperature is going to be pretty high, like the molten core of Earth.
The good news is when that group reaches 144,000 members they will ascend to heaven leaving the rest of us to watch gay facebook ads as the antichrist unleashes locusts, brimstone, and a bunch of other shit from the horror section in the back of the bible.
That's all for today. Just wanted to pop something in before the end of the week.
Also, there's new Zen (click off the left). Nothing new and nothing special. But a mental pallet cleanser.
Leave some love in the comments.
Huzzah.
|