Okay... so for the few of you who read this and also hear my amateurish political segment on Pat & JT, the D.C. Blitz, may be wondering what I said during the show this morning that made them hit the delay button. Here is the scenario:

Because I am inherently lazy and passed out early (11:30) last night I did not pre-script my Blitz. Normally I comb Wonkette, Politico, Raw Story, Google News [Politics], and the like for segment fodder. But last night I zonked out watching SVU, neglecting to write a thing. As I dozed off I had the misguided thought that I was clever enough to off-the-cuff today's segment by rattling off all the still-running presidential candidates and listing the reasons why they are not viable for the job of Commander in Chief.

This was an erroneous idea on my behalf. I thought of a couple zingers for a couple specific candidates, but for the most part I just kept saying something to the effect of "this one is a whack-job and that one is a koo koo muffin and this one over here is a real raisin cake." Not my best work to say the least.

A Little Technical Background:
When a radio show activates their delay, the industry slang term is "dump". Not the most pleasant wording, but that's what it is. The seven seconds that are digitally stored up in the box connecting everything in the studio to the transmitter are literally dumped out, sending the radio listener seven seconds into the past... which is actually the present.

I'll now paraphrase the conversation that was going on when my errant words caused Pat to hit the Delay Dump button:

Pat: I like Fred Thompson

Marv: You do? Why?

Pat: Because he gets things done. I mean, look at him. Just his look says he could go to Iraq and just get them straightened out with his imposing look.

Marv: Ah. I see. So being a jowly dick equates to "getting things done". I see.

Pat: Wait

JT: Wha---what. Wait.

Pat: Can we say that? Can he say that?

JT: No! He can't say that on the air.

[a tussle ensues, Pat hits the dump button, there is a rift in space/time as we plunge 7 seconds into the past]

What the listeners heard:

Marv: [Unfunny banter]

[audible hiccup]

Marv: They turned the delay on because of that?

Pat: [laughter] [unintelligible]

Marv: Kill me.

So there you go, a peek behind the curtain to see how the sausage of radio is made.

First and foremost my apologies to DC Blitz fans who I let down with my dicey unfunny blather this morning. Next week we're going back to the script. Also apologies to the listeners who were disappointed by my acquiescence to the Ron Paul caller who took umbrage at my referring to him as a whack-job. I did, however, misspeak. I meant to say that Paul's supporters are whack-jobs while he is just an frighteningly strident pseudo-Liberterian (but not in the good way) and alleged racist, and completely non-viable candidate. Had I taken the time to formulate my statement I would've been clearer that although he may be a "straight shooter" when it comes to cutting through the bureaucratic nonsense, turning America into an isolationist stronghold doesn't seem to me to be the path to freedom. But whatever. Regardless, I should never back down on a joke. Because you know what they say about listeners, give 'em an inch and they'll think they're a ruler.

I offer no apologies, however, to Fred Thompson, who is a jowly dick, both on TV and in real life. Actually he's even less appealing in real life.

A paragon of jowly dickishness, Frederick Frankenstein