Time for another political weekly roundup. I should've done it on Friday, but busy busy busy (see below).

Let's kick off with yet another spectacular Special Comment from Keith Olbermann (From Thursday's Countdown on MSNBC):



There you have it.

Here's the copy from this week's DC Blitz, in case you missed it on Pat & JT on Friday. It's normally on Thursday, but the Jeep broke and I was vehicle-less.
This contains my notes and is unadulterated in any way. So when you see things like "(pause)" that's where I pause for comedic effect. It rarely works. Do you really want to see how sausage is made?
(As usual, special DC Blitz thanks to Wonkette, Politico, The Raw Story & The Huffington Post)

DC Blitz

Condi gets kicked to the curb by the Pope
Pope Benedict the X-V-I turned down a request by Condoleeza Rice when she asked nicely for a papal audience during Pope Benny’s holiday in his Castelgandolfo residence near Rome. Hmmm... Was it because he sent a special Papal Envoy to the Bush administration in 2003 admonishing the immorality of the then-proposed Iraqi invasion? Was it because His Holiness was P.O.’ed at the way Iraqi Christians are treated under the new Iraqi constitution? Uh... Maaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyybe. [BBC]

Early Fall Vacation Destination!
According to twincities.com, the hottest midwest vacation destination is... the “Larry Craig” bathroom. People are evidently taking pictures of the famed stall. If you visit, it’s by the lottery shop next to the shoeshine stand in the Minneapolis airport, second stall from the right. Next time you’re connecting through and have a few minutes, swing by and see where America’s favorite Senatorial Sex Troll ruined his career. But remember, no foot-tapping.

Strange Differences
Speaking of Larry...When Louisiana Senator David Vitter, he of the DC Madam call list, returned to the Republican weekly policy meeting after confessing his prostitutional consort he was greeted by a round of welcoming applause by his peers. When Larry Craig pulled the old “I’m back” suprise-a-rino this week. Well, the vibe in the room was more like “aaaaaawk-ward!” So remember future GOP politicians, prostitutes = okay, a consensual, if sleazy, trip to the lavender park... no no no!

Oh, Ernie!
Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers this week announced he is suing God. He claims it’s to make a point about frivolous lawsuits, but frankly... I hope he’s successful. I think we’re talking class-action lawsuit here and I want in. Here’s my personal message to Ernie Chambers: See you in hell, buddy! I’ll be the one roasting for all my rampant onanism.

Sounds like Boo-KAY-see
In a somewhat surprising announcement this week, President Decider Comander-guy selected retired judge Michael Mukasey to replace habitual incompetent Alberto Gonzales for the position of Attorney General. The wonks around DC were hanging on to the idea that Bush would nominate rabid ultraconservative law-twister Ted Olsen, but for whatever reason the president chose someone who might actually stand a chance of being competent at the job. And before all the lefties start high-fiving, let’s keep in mind that Mukasey, who is likely to get the nod from the Senate, is a big fan of the Patriot Act. So if you have anything nice to say about him, just say it in a regular phone call... because the line is probably being tapped by the government.

Blitz & Pieces
Alan Keyes announced he’s running for President... again. This news was greeted by a nation that collectively shrugged silently, then turned back to their bag of cheetos and NASCAR race. ... Apparently there was a “Values Voters” Debate last week, but Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and Fred Thompson didn’t show up, so Mike Huckabee won. I hope he savored the moment because it’s unlikely he’ll hear that phrase ever again. Finally... CREW released their report of the 22 most corrupt members of congress, you can read all about it at beyonddelay.com, and lest you think I’m totally biased, I’m happy to mention that a whole 4 of them are Democrats.* ... The Gull Meadow Corn Maze in Richland, MI this year is in the shape of Gerald Ford’s head. (visit gullmeadowfarms.com if you don’t believe me) For anyone listening under 35, Gerald Ford was the 38th president of the U.S. known for falling down a lot and pardoning Richard Nixon: and despite this distinction he was still a better president than the current one.

*(William Jefferson[LA], the money in the freezer guy; Alan Mollohan[WV]; John Murtha[PA]; and David Scott[GA])

And finally, the must-read link of the week. Author and provocateur Douglas Rushkoff wrote a spectacular piece for Arthur magazine this week on why 9/11 conspiracy theorists do much more harm than good. I'm usually too quick on the draw when it comes to breaking out the tinfoil hat, but this piece resonates with the kind of critical thought that's too often lacking in modern discourse.

That's all for today, kids.

Huzzah